Music Mental Health Diary Entry Day 1 : How to Let Go of Shame and Own Your Place in the Music Industry

By Rich Steve Beck

When I think about the music industry, I see a world full of contradictions. It’s a place that celebrates individuality but often demands conformity. It values creativity but measures success by rigid standards like streams, followers, and chart positions. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve felt the weight of these expectations—and maybe even the shame that comes with them. Maybe you’ve doubted your talent, questioned whether you belong, or worried about how others perceive you. Trust me, I’ve been there too. But here’s what I’ve learned: shame doesn’t have to define your journey. You can let it go, embrace who you are, and step confidently into your place in the industry.

Acknowledge Where Shame Comes From

Shame doesn’t just appear out of nowhere—it usually has roots in past experiences or societal pressures. For me, it often came from comparing myself to other artists or internalising criticism I’d received early on. Maybe for you, it’s the fear of not being “good enough” or the pressure to fit a certain mold. Whatever it is, shame thrives when we ignore it.

Take a moment to reflect: What triggers those feelings for you? Is it the pressure to achieve certain milestones? The fear of being vulnerable in your lyrics? Or maybe the belief that you don’t look, sound, or act like the “ideal” musician? Once you name the source of your shame, you start taking away its power. You’ll begin to see it for what it is—a story you’ve been telling yourself, not a truth about who you are.

Detach Your Value from External Validation

I used to measure my worth by how many likes a post got or how many people showed up to a gig. But here’s the thing: tying your value to external validation leaves you at the mercy of forces you can’t control. One bad review or low turnout can send you spiralling if you haven’t built a strong sense of self-worth from within.

Instead, I encourage you to anchor your value in your purpose. Why did you start making music in the first place? Was it to tell stories, connect with people, or express emotions that words alone couldn’t capture? Reconnecting with your “why” reminds you that your worth isn’t contingent on applause or accolades. It lies in the courage to create, share, and be seen as you are.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparison is one of the quickest ways shame takes hold. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve scrolled through social media, feeling like I’m falling behind because someone else landed a record deal, sold out a tour, or hit a million streams. But here’s what I’ve realised: everyone’s path is different. That artist you admire likely faced (and still faces) struggles you know nothing about.

Next time you find yourself comparing, pause and ask yourself: What does this reveal about my own goals? Use it as an opportunity to clarify what matters most to you, rather than letting it diminish your confidence. Remember, there will always be someone ahead of you—and someone behind you. Your only competition should be the version of yourself you were yesterday.

Embrace Vulnerability as Strength

For a long time, I thought vulnerability was a weakness. I worried that showing my true self—flaws and all—would make me seem fragile or exposed. But the opposite is true. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable in your art, you invite others to connect with you on a deeper level.

Your listeners aren’t looking for perfection—they’re looking for authenticity. By embracing vulnerability, you not only break free from shame but also forge stronger connections with your audience. So I urge you: don’t shy away from sharing your truth. It’s what makes your music resonate.

Talk About Your Struggles

Shame thrives in silence. I’ve kept my struggles hidden for years, convinced that no one would understand—or worse, that they’d judge me. But when I finally opened up, even just to one trusted person, it was incredibly freeing. Sharing your experience reminds you that you’re not alone.

If you’re ready, consider using your platform to talk about your journey with a wider audience. Many artists have found strength in discussing their mental health, insecurities, or personal challenges. Doing so not only helps dismantle stigma but also fosters deeper connections with your listeners, who may see pieces of themselves in your story.

Filter Criticism Wisely

Criticism is inevitable in the music industry, whether it comes from critics, collaborators, or fans. While constructive feedback can help you grow, harsh or unkind comments can reinforce feelings of shame. Over time, I’ve learned to filter criticism more wisely.

Ask yourself: Is this feedback coming from someone I trust and respect? If yes, consider it thoughtfully. If no, let it go. Not every opinion deserves space in your mind. Similarly, set boundaries around how much weight you give to online comments or reviews. Social media amplifies negativity, so curate your digital environment carefully. Mute, block, or step away when needed—it’s okay to prioritise your peace.

Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

Letting go of shame requires shifting your focus from perfection to progress. I used to wait for monumental milestones to feel proud, but now I celebrate the small wins along the way. Finished writing a new song? Celebrate. Played a local gig? Celebrate. Took care of yourself during a tough week? Celebrate.

These moments add up, reinforcing the belief that you’re capable and deserving of happiness regardless of external outcomes. Over time, celebrating progress—not just results—helps shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

The company you keep matters. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you—those who see your potential even when you can’t see it yourself. Collaborators, mentors, friends, and loved ones who genuinely support your growth will remind you of your strengths when doubt creeps in.

At the same time, distance yourself from toxic relationships or environments that feed into your shame. Whether it’s a manipulative manager, a critical bandmate, or a draining friendship, these influences will only hold you back. Protect your energy fiercely—it’s one of your most valuable assets.

Remember: Your Voice Matters

Finally, I want to remind you of this: the world needs your voice. There’s no one else exactly like you, and trying to shrink yourself to fit someone else’s expectations robs the world of the unique perspective only you can offer. Every lyric you write, every melody you compose, every performance you give adds something irreplaceable to the tapestry of human expression.

Letting go of shame doesn’t mean eliminating it entirely—it means learning to coexist with it without letting it control you. When you embrace who you are, flaws and all, you give yourself permission to shine authentically. And that’s when the real magic happens—not just in your music but in your life.

So take a deep breath, trust your instincts, and step boldly into your place in the music industry. The stage is yours, and the world is waiting to hear what you have to say.

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Rich Steve Beck is a podcaster (PMFC Global TV), pro audio engineer/producer community leader (Produce Mix Fix and Conquer), full Music Producers Guild member, and pro mastering engineer who's worked with platinum-selling and Grammy-winning audio engineers.

He is also on a huge journey discovering about his own mental health and has felt a calling, as a large music community leader, to be an advocate for open mental health discussions across the industry.

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