Music Mental Health Diary Entry Day 12: Dealing with Unresolved Internal Anger

By Rich Steve Beck

Fists tighten at the thought of that rotten moment someone stepped over the line. Life’s a tangle sometimes. Work rubs the wrong way. Old rows bubble beneath. Unresolved anger’s a heavy load. A friend gets a sharp word for no reason. A petty slight from years back still stings. It’s gnawing away inside. Musicians, producers—you’ve felt it, that heat when a session flops and I can’t let it go. There’s stuff to get on with, a bit of calm to find. Face it. Shift it.

Put a Name to the Nasty Thing

Nothing shifts unless it’s seen. Pin down what’s got the temper up. Scribble it down or mutter it low. “That person ignored me last week.” “I got overlooked for no reason.” “They never owned up to their mess.” A friend once took credit for my work, and it festered till I jotted it: “Credit Snatched, July.” Calling it out dulled the edge. You give it a go. Name what’s stoking the fire. Make it plain.

What’s got the blood simmering? Say it now.

Nip It Before It Boils Over

Temper flares quick as a spark. The heat climbs fast. The urge to snap hits hard. Catch it early. Take five deep breaths—count them out. Step outside for a minute. Squeeze fists tight, then let them drop. A friend nearly got an earful over a daft mix-up once. I stopped short, legged it out, sucked in air. It faded. No need to lose it. Spot the trigger. Pull it back.

What sets it off? Watch for it next time.

Sweat the Weight Away

Anger sits solid when the body’s still. Brooding makes it worse. Get moving. Walk round the block at a clip—feel the legs work. Do ten push-ups till the arms feel it. Kick a ball against a wall. A friend used to stew over a job gone wrong. He’d walk fast, said it cleared his head. You shift the tension. Move about. Drain it off.

When was the last bit of movement? Try it today.

Spill It to Someone

Keeping it in rots the insides. Let it out to a safe ear. Tell a friend, “I’m annoyed about this.” Say to a family member, “This still gets me.” A client dodged paying once, and I simmered till I told a pal, “I’m fuming.” He listened, nodded. It eased up. No point stewing alone. Pick someone. Speak it.

Who’s good for a chat? Give them a call.

Scribble It and Tear It Up

Anger needs an out. Grab a pen. Scratch every raw thought—don’t hold back. “They let me down.” “I deserved better.” “It’s not right.” A project collapsed once, and I filled a page with frustration, then ripped it to bits. Felt lighter. You get it out. You destroy it. You move on.

What’s got the temper up? Write it. Rip it.

Dig for the Real Sting

Anger hides what’s really hurting. The snap comes fast, but the root’s deeper. Ask why this cuts so much. Was it disrespect? A dent to pride? A trust broken? A colleague brushed off my input once, and I steamed for days. Then saw it tapped an old sore—being sidelined. You find the cause. You sap its power.

What’s the real ache? Look deeper.

Drop the Old Scores

Grudges stack up like damp clothes. That row from way back. That friend who slipped up. Let them go. Holding on doesn’t fix it. Picture them falling away. Say, “I’m done with this.” A colleague let me down once, and I clung to it for ages. One day, I said, “It’s over,” and felt free. You don’t need that weight. Shove it off.

What’s one old grudge to ditch? Say it’s gone.

Turn the Gaze Forward

Anger fixes the eyes on what’s past. The slight loops in the mind. Twist it round. Pick a task to sink into. Plan the next step. Help someone out. Musicians, producers—you’ve heard me say start a fresh tune when the temper flares. I do it too—keeps me level. There’s work to do. Aim ahead. Leave it behind.

What’s worth a go now? Get stuck in.

Own the Slip Too

The finger points out, but check inwards. Did a step get missed? A chance fluffed? A word left unsaid? A client mucked me about once, and I fumed. Then saw I didn’t push for details. Fixed it next time. You take your share. You lighten the load.

Where did it go off? Own it.

Say It Steady

The throat itches to shout. The pulse races. Try words instead—keep them calm. “That didn’t feel fair.” “I felt cut out there.” A friend talked over me once, and I simmered. Said even, “That stung when you jumped in.” He got it. You air it. You hold steady.

What needs saying? Plan it calm.

Sidestep the Sparks

Anger spikes near certain people or places. The chest tightens. The jaw sets. Steer clear for a bit. Skip that talk. Take a different path. Stay out of that spot. A friend used to flare up near a pushy colleague. He’d avoid him for a few days—worked a treat. You don’t need the ignition. Step aside.

What’s the flashpoint? Swerve it today.

Find a Quiet Corner

The head’s buzzing with it. Noise stokes the fire. Seek silence. Shut the door for five minutes. Listen to the breath—slow it down. Just sit. A row left me steaming once. I sat quiet till it ebbed. You settle the noise. You breathe it out.

When was the last still moment? Take one.

Get Hands-On

Anger rattles round the skull. Shift it to the hands. Fix something broken. Cook a proper meal—chop loud. Scribble a rough sketch. Musicians, producers—you know a new beat can soak it up. I’ve bashed out a rhythm when I’m riled. You make something. You channel it.

What can the hands do today? Dive in.

Peek at Their Angle

The temper paints them as the villain. Hold up. Why’d they do it? Stretched thin? Thick-headed? Worried? A friend snapped at me once, and I was ready to bite back. Heard he’d had a rough day—softened the edge. You don’t excuse it. You see more.

What’s their side? Think it over.

Forgive for Your Own Good

No need to stay angry. Let it go—not for them, for you. Mutter, “I’m past it.” Keep your distance if needed. A colleague flaked on me once. I let it drop, didn’t trust him again. Anger left. You free yourself. You keep your guard.

Who’s worth letting off? Say it’s done.

Break the Pattern

Anger’s a groove worn deep. The snap comes too easy. Catch it early. Swap the bite for a pause. Walk off instead of barking. Chuck a laugh at it if you can. I used to flare at petty slights. Started shrugging instead—changed the game. You rewrite it. You take charge.

What’s the usual trigger? Flip it next time.

Rest the Noggin

Anger tires the head out. The fuse burns short. Give it a break. Nap for 20 minutes—proper shut-eye. Stare out the window like a daft sod. Lie flat and breathe slow. I’ve worn myself out simmering all day. A quick rest sorted it. You recharge. You cool down.

When was the last proper breather? Take it.

Call for Backup

Anger digs in deep sometimes. This stuff gets tried. It sticks. Get help. Chat to a GP or counsellor. Bend a friend’s ear who’s been there. A lad I know couldn’t shake a betrayal. Therapy pulled him out. You don’t fight solo. Help’s there.

What’s keeping help away? Look at it.

Carve a Calmer Road

The path ahead’s yours to shape. Test these steps. Keep what works. Quiet might steady you. Talking might lift it. Moving might burn it off. Producers—you’ve heard me say a fresh track can soothe it. I lean on a walk. Find your way. Tweak it as you go. You’re in control.

What’s the first try? Kick it off.

Cut the Strings

Anger’s a knot round the neck. That old row. That daft jab. Snip it loose. Picture it drifting off. Say, “I’m not lugging this.” A job went wrong once, and I clung to the grudge. Let it float off one day—done. You don’t need it. Cut it.

What’s one tie to snip? Let it go.

Hear Their Bit

The rage locks on one view. Their side’s blank. Ask them. “What happened there?” “Why’d you do that?” Keep it civil. A friend bit my head off once. Asked why later. “Bad day,” he said. It softened the sting. You don’t agree. You see more.

Who can you ask about it? Do it.

Set Your Edge

Anger flares when they cross you. Mark your line. Tell them, “That’s not on.” Keep it firm, not loud. I’ve had to say, “Don’t do that again,” after a friend overstepped. Worked. You hold your space. You stay steady.

Where’s your boundary? Draw it.

Find a Steady Beat

Anger throws everything off. The rhythm’s gone. Build it back. Stick to a daily flow—work, rest, eat. Musicians—you’ve heard me say find a groove when the fury hits. Keeps me on track too. You anchor yourself. You ride it out.

What’s your daily rhythm? Stick to it.

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Rich Steve Beck is a podcaster (PMFC Global TV), pro audio engineer/producer community leader (Produce Mix Fix and Conquer), full Music Producers Guild member, and pro mastering engineer who's worked with platinum-selling and Grammy-winning audio engineers.

He is also on a huge journey discovering about his own mental health and has felt a calling, as a large music community leader, to be an advocate for open mental health discussions across the industry.

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