Music Mental Health Diary Entry Day 6: The Weight of Masking: Navigating ADHD in a World That Doesn’t Always Understand

By Rich Steve Beck

You’ve probably felt it—the exhaustion of pretending to be “normal” when your brain operates on an entirely different wavelength. I know I have. Masking is like wearing an invisible suit that doesn’t quite fit, one you feel forced to keep on just to blend in. If you’ve ever wondered why it feels so draining to hide parts of yourself, let’s sit with that for a moment.

What Masking Feels Like

For me, masking isn’t something I consciously choose—it becomes a survival tactic. I force myself to sit still in meetings, even though my mind is racing. You might do the same—rehearsing conversations in your head to avoid interrupting or saying the “wrong” thing. Pushing through tasks that feel unbearably boring, all while your brain craves stimulation, can leave you feeling like you’re constantly performing. Do you ever feel like you’re playing a role just to get by?

The Pressure to Look “Put Together”

As someone with ADHD, I often feel the weight of expectations—especially in creative fields like music production or audio engineering. There’s this unspoken pressure to be organised, focused, and endlessly productive. But ADHD doesn’t play by those rules. I’ve sat at my DAW for hours, staring at a blank project, overwhelmed by deadlines. Still, I’ve learned to fake it—sending emails with perfectly professional tones, even when my room is a mess and my to-do list feels insurmountable. You might do the same. The more you try to look “put together,” the more you feel like you’re falling apart. Does that tension resonate with you?

Why Masking Feels Necessary

Masking often feels like the only way to avoid judgment. People might assume you’re lazy if you miss a deadline or flaky if you forget a detail. I’ve nodded along in conversations I barely followed, hidden my overwhelm behind a calm exterior, and pushed through tasks that felt impossible—all to avoid being misunderstood. You’ve probably done the same. It’s not about wanting to mask; it’s about feeling like you don’t have another choice. Does this sound familiar?

The Cost of Constant Camouflage

Masking takes a toll. For me, it leaves me feeling disconnected—not just from others, but from myself. I silence my creativity, stifle my spontaneity, and ignore my own needs just to keep up appearances. By the end of the day, I’m so mentally drained that even simple tasks feel monumental. You might feel the same way. Does the effort of masking ever leave you wondering if you’ve got anything left to give?

How Letting Go of the Mask Can Help

Letting go of the mask isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. For me, it started with realising I don’t have to have everything figured out to be worthy. I began sharing my struggles with trusted friends and collaborators, and their responses surprised me—instead of judgment, I found understanding. You might start by embracing tools that help you manage ADHD, like timers, reminders, or structured breaks, without feeling ashamed for needing them. Does letting go of the mask feel terrifying—or like a breath of fresh air—to you?

Finding Strength in Authenticity

I’ve come to realise that my ADHD isn’t a flaw—it’s part of what makes me who I am. My hyperfocus has led to some of my best creative breakthroughs. My impulsivity has pushed me to take risks I wouldn’t have otherwise. And my ability to think outside the box? That’s pure ADHD magic. When I stop masking and lean into my authentic self, I create work that feels alive, vibrant, and uniquely mine. Do you ever wonder what your work—and your life—might look like if you embraced your true self?

Learning to Trust That People Will Stay

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that the right people will love you for who you are—not the version you think they want. I used to worry that being open about my ADHD would push people away, but the opposite happened. Collaborators appreciated my honesty, fans connected with my vulnerability, and friends stuck around because they valued the real me. Do you ever doubt that people will stay if they see the real you?

The Freedom of No Longer Hiding

At the end of the day, masking is a heavy burden to carry—and it’s one you don’t have to bear alone. For me, letting go of the mask has been about giving myself permission to be imperfect, to ask for help, and to celebrate the things that make me different. It’s not always easy, but every step toward authenticity feels like coming home. Does imagining a life without masking feel freeing—or overwhelming?

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Rich Steve Beck is a podcaster (PMFC Global TV), pro audio engineer/producer community leader (Produce Mix Fix and Conquer), full Music Producers Guild member, and pro mastering engineer who's worked with platinum-selling and Grammy-winning audio engineers.

He is also on a huge journey discovering about his own mental health and has felt a calling, as a large music community leader, to be an advocate for open mental health discussions across the industry.

ADHD, depression, anxiety, imposter syndrome, autism...let's dive in to every mental health topic!

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